Whether you are writing a fantasy, drama, romance, sci-fi, historical fiction, or even a memoir, there is one critical element without which a story falls apart, or at least, has far less impact and substance. What is this element that has so much power? The answer is, relationships.
As I mention in other posts, such at “It’s Not the How, It’s the Why” and “The Butterfly Effect. Part 1” your characters do not exist in a vacuum. Relationships build your characters. Every interaction with another character shapes their worldview and actions. I challenge my readers to think of any aspect of their lives that has not been influenced or impacted by various relationships. Someone had to raise us. We make, or struggle to make, friends. Whether we conform to or rebel against the constrains of societal norms, society in one way or another influences our thoughts and behaviors. Society itself is a series of interactions and relationships.
What about one relationship that is often neglected, especially in works of fiction? It is a relationship which brings us to tears, rage, and laughter. In some cases it gives us comfort; in some it gives us strife, but many people have experienced this relationship in one form or another. This is the relationship of siblings. Oh, the depths of this relationship. It gives us such food for thought.
The majority of this post will be a series of questions because my goal is not to tell you what to think. Rather, I want to encourage you to think for yourself by opening your mind to the worlds of possibilities at your disposal. It might be a little overwhelming at first. You might need to revisit this post more than once to allow your mind time to absorb the vastness of the options before you. It is a multiverse I want to open to you. Ready? Let’s go.
Our siblings are often involved in the formative years of our lives. Yes, I did imply not all the time. I will come back to that later. For those who are siblings in youth, these siblings are capable of shaping who we become in adulthood, often to a great degree. A sibling that always insists that they are the best, who is always bossy, picking on their (sometimes older) siblings, managing to regularly bring their siblings down a few notches: this can damage the psyche, destroy self-confidence, or create a self-sufficient fighter, one who does not need external validation because they know they will get the exact opposite.
What about the nurturing sibling; the one that is always there to protect and guide, to be a shoulder to cry on, or rejoice over successes? This, also, can have either a positive or negative effect. What if this protection was always present and always complete? The character in question might never have had the opportunity to succeed or fail on their own. When they are thrown into adventure or danger they are fearful and floundering, for they are only just learning how to survive without the constant safety net. They have never yet learned to stand on their own two feet.
Yet, the exact opposite could be the case. What if the caring and nurturing was in the correct balance. This sibling helped your character become well-adjusted and know that even if they make a mistake, they need to get up, dust the dirt off their butt, and try again. This character knows they are loved even if they fail, and if worse comes to worst they do have help, they have refuge, they have aid, or even just that sympathetic ear. Even more, they are worthy of it.
What if your main character is the older sibling, and they consider the younger nothing more than a nuisance? Your decisions concerning the sibling relationships will vastly change your story and how your characters interact with their sibling, other characters in general, and the world around them. Is your MC the nurturer or the one receiving the nurturing? Do they always have to prove themselves to their sibling? Are they tired of being coddled and simply want to break free? They could learn that they are less prepared than they thought and their “overprotective” sibling was genuinely protecting them. Is this your MC’s opportunity to shine? Was their sibling deliberately holding them back or had every good intention regardless of the outcome?
What if your MC’s sibling is captured by an antagonist? Will a strong relationship drive your main character to attempt a rescue no matter the odds? Will your MC, unprepared or through their own arrogance, fail? Would they be haunted by that failure, always driven to be a protector or to make amends? Will it crush them, giving them the false belief that they are unforgivable or nonredeemable? When they are faced with a similar situation will it cause them to freeze, or will it drive them to more decisive action, or possibly, reckless action?
Will your character decide to abandon their sibling causing far spreading repercussions because it (A.) damages their humanity or (B.) the sibling is now out for revenge? Then comes the question, what caused this abandonment? Was it your MC’s callous heart which must be punished through the consequences of their actions until they learn the error of their ways or go deeper and more grim until they are the monster of the story themselves? Was there some perceived failing which made the MC feel they were justified in abandoning the sibling they feel does not deserve their help? If this be the case, does your main character, through trials of their own learn that they misjudged their poor sibling and became the one worthy of abandonment, or had their sibling deliberately damaged them causing this turning of the back? That also raises another question, how dire is the situation in which the sibling has found themselves and, whatever the failing, can your MC really leave them to that fate in good conscience? Must they rescue their sibling, or will they turn their back? Would their abandonment destroy their sense of morality?
As you can see, the simple relationship of sibling is not so simple at all. It opens a wide array of questions and options. How is it that this relationship, or relationships in general, are developed in fiction and science fiction as little as they are? Relationships drive us no matter how stalwart and solitary we like to believe ourselves.
Now I would like to return to the question I left unanswered in the beginning of this post. What of the siblings that were not siblings in youth? Who are they? How is that possible? Am I referring to those rare occasions where one sibling has grown to adulthood before the next is born? This is, indeed very rare and could warrant some discussion. That situation drastically changes the dynamic of the sibling relationship. However, that is not the sibling situation to which I referred.
My intended discussion was siblings by choice rather than by birth. Again we have multiple elements and formative situations that can be discussed. There is the possibility of formal adoption and informal adoption.
What if one or the other adopted sibling never accepted the adoption performed by the parents? The adopted sibling could feel that the birth sibling was treated with deference. They could be correct or mistaken, and either possibility offers it’s own issues. The opposite could be true where the birth sibling feels that the adopted sibling is an interloper, taking away the parents’ attention. We have room for conflict, as well as a negative arc, or positive arc for either character, which in turn affects the other.
I want to bring particular attention to relationships where friends form a bond so close that they might as well have been raised together. This can occur in childhood, but also in adulthood. These relationships are no less precious than those of blood siblings. These are less likely to have the negative effect of sibling rivalry, for these siblings have chosen each other, though we often forget that blood siblings can also choose each other. The options are numerous and varying in this situation as well.
I hope I have shown how the possibilities are so numerous as to open worlds. You could have the same character, but change the sibling relationship and that character suddenly takes a vastly different path, changing the way the world and circumstances reacts to them, which in turn changes the way they react to the world and circumstances. Every moment of a relationship creates a butterfly effect, ripples that spread through your main character’s life, affecting the future. This is true even if the sibling never appears in print.
So as April 10th brings us national sibling day, let us consider siblings with all their incredible power. Put pen to paper, stylus to tablet, or fingers to keyboard and enjoy the wonder.
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