With “Boys Will Be Boys” I had the text ready, or nearly so, for years. The problem was, I lacked confidence in my writing and I lacked direction for the next steps.
As far as I was concerned, my writing was not good enough to send out into the world. The concept was daunting. “What if my punctuation is off?” “What if my writing just isn’t that interesting?” “What if I’m writing about something that’s already been written about and the readers won’t want to read the same thing again?” The list of reasons to get cold feet keep going. That’s not counting the nameless “What if…”, that uncertain dread that keeps us from moving forward, like a child afraid of the monster under the bed.
The lack of direction is a substantial problem. It is based in fear, but also based in logic, which makes it difficult to buck. It isn’t usually a good idea to run headlong into a situation you know little to nothing about. I believe, there are two solid solutions to this problem, if you use them together.
First, I will mention research, of course. Read, listen, and watch information. Take clear notes, and reread them until you are sick of it. As it is said, “To be forewarned is to be forearmed.” (I put emphasis on the ‘clear notes’ part. I have read, listened, and watched, then forgotten the information and had to start over again, because I didn’t have proper notes. Don’t make my mistake. It wastes time and energy that could be much better spent elsewhere.)
Now, that being said, don’t let the research become your writing life. I researched and researched, and didn’t get my writing published, because I never felt ready. Here is where solution two comes in, if it doesn’t come sooner. It should probably come early.
Solution two: find a mentor (or more). I cannot stress this enough. The person you choose for your mentor should have, at least, one book under their belt, preferably the type of book you are trying to get published. (I found enough people to talk to who were in the same boat as I was, in the process of writing or getting published, but not published yet. We could only help each other so much.)
What you are looking for is a guide. (I will admit one of my mentors is an exception to the rule I just gave you, but I will explain why.) There are more than one type of guide. My best guides have been (1.) someone who has no experience in book writing or publishing of any kind and (2.) someone who self-published some time before big changes occurred in the field, which altered the approach a little bit, adding considerations that were not even existent before.
Even more important for me than their ability to advice in the book writing and publishing process, these were people who had my back, kept pushing me forward when I balked, kept me moving when I grew weary, kept hauling me back up when I got mired, and kept rooting for me when I became too discouraged to root for myself. If you don’t have, at least, one of these mentors, you would do better to have a strong will and a tenacious, nothing-will-stop-me spirit, because unless you are a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type of person, there will be some very daunting times. Even if your pant’s seat does get stretched out by your avian endeavors, there can still be turbulence. It’s best to have that control tower crew watching out for you.
As for my second mentor, this person was ready to answer all my questions to the best of their ability or to point me to someone else who might have the information. This person was tireless, despite the fact that, once I got answers, I usually found more questions. Without this mentor, I might have just been another hopeful, whose portfolio, drawer, or hard drive was full of partial stories that were never to be read by others than myself, and a family member or so. Same goes for my other mentor who stayed in my corner through it all. My mentors, my friends, you know who you are. Thank you.
Don’t forget that even if they don’t know how to help you with any of the technical details, friends who support you and want to see you strive to succeed and who thrill at you steps forward, and help you stand back up after an emotional fall are very important as well. Don’t underestimate them.
Another tip, let your mentor/s be people you can trust. This is the most important aspect. You must be able to trust them not to take your ideas, cut you down, or give you bad advice for their own purposes. These mentors should also be people who will hold you accountable, people who will tell you that a part of your writing really is slop, so you can make it better (emphasis on the ‘so you can make it better’. Don’t confuse cutting remarks for constructive criticism. Guilty. And don’t make the mistake of confusing honesty for your betterment as cutting remarks. I hope I’m not guilty.) That being said, don’t forget to learn from everyone. Even those who try to cut you down can give you the tools you need to make yourself better, just don’t trust them.
Once you find a real mentor you find a friend and helper. Remember to let them know how much you appreciate their efforts and support.
Now, go find you a mentor, and appreciate your friends and family. Don’t forget to enjoy the wonder.
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