It will soon be that time again when everything is flowers, roses, chocolates, and romance. Whether you have a significant other or are going stag this year, many of us tend to turn our thoughts to the idea of love, but who says love is only about romance?
Here are five movies that involve romance to one degree or another, but have backdrops of love, and/or connection, and/or respect outside of the romantic relationship. These are good for just plain viewing, or for writers learning how others have portrayed relationships of various kinds.
1. While You were Sleeping
This movie is a keeper. It has a peaceful vibe despite the almost madcap moments. Let me tell you a little about this wholesome, gentle romance.
Woman sees Man. Woman falls in love with Man (despite never having exchanged more than a few words). Woman sees Man pushed onto train tracks and proceeds to save Man. Man ends up in a coma and, through an huge misunderstanding, Man’s family comes to believe Woman is his fiancé. This all happens in the first quarter of the movie. The rest of the movie is comprised of the family falling in love with Woman and Woman falling in love with them, plus creating and handling the two crises to keep her from the man she loves.
This is a movie that is just as much about the love of others rather than focused solely on romance. The interaction between Lucy (Sandra Bullock) and the family is something to savor. The dialogue is incredible and hilarious. This is a movie for writers who want to learn the subtleties and not-so-subtleties of cast interaction and conversation. There are twists and turns and obstacles galore, yet it never feels as though it’s too much.
Another aspect worth noting is that the romance part is never over-the-top; fireworks and birds singing around the heads of the two lovers. The romance is built out of, yes, attraction, but also out of humor, and shared experiences (which includes down-to-earth escapades rather than unrealistically extravagant shenanigans).
In summary, whether just for watching wholesome romance, or for watching natural interactions of various kinds with the eye of a writer, this movie is one to watch over and over again.
2. The Lake House
This movie stars Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. Need I say more? Well, there is more to say.
If you’re looking for an impossible love story, this is it. The premise of falling in love under seemingly insurmountable difficulties is also the very thing keeping them apart; time. Sandra Bullock (Kate) is moving out of her lake house, and Keanu Reeves (Alex) is moving in… two years prior. Ok, maybe two years isn’t terribly insurmountable, in fact, they try to overcome that ‘detail’ twice; the first fails and the second causes the crisis moment.
This is a gentle romance, which tends to be the case with Sandra Bullock. Mr. Reeves also adds his own sense of calm. This movie is incredibly down-to-earth, despite its subject matter, and leaves the viewer with a sense of peace. Despite the fact that this is not a romantic comedy, there are moments of quiet humor that are pleasantly amusing.
This movie also does not focus only on the romantic relationship that it develops, but also the relationship between a controlling, arrogant father and his sons, between two brothers, between mother and daughter, and between student and mentor. The last three are particularly touching. I think the last situation is of note because, the others have to do with blood relations, but this student/mentor relationship is a strong bond that has nothing to do with birth. It is simply two women who make a deep, meaningful connection.
This story is poignant in our society where we are supposed to be so connected, we can talk to anyone in the world and build relationships, yet the rate of loneliness seems to be going up. In “The Lake House” two people are able to fall in love before they meet, simply over the letters they send back and forth through the mailbox time portal.
Besides the romance, this movie presents lovely cinematography. The moments where the two lovers talk to each other over the expanse of time are superbly done, so long as one is willing to suspend reality just a little. This is easy to do because the symbolism is so well played out in the filming and by two actors who work excellently together. The two characters were able to connect so well that, even through their notes, it was as though they were having an in-person conversation.
All in all, I feel this movie is a must-see. It isn’t gushing. It isn’t in your face. It doesn’t even come off as fairy-tale-esque because it really is a story that we could all work towards. Deep connection is possible despite time, space, and the disconnect of screens, so long as we strive for it.
Note: For time nerds like me, it’s best to suspend reality for the method they use to resolve the crisis situation. It can mess with certain concepts of timeline, yet, despite this, the movie is great. Watch it and see for yourself.
3. Lars and the Real Girl
The show starts with love, and love is the whole point before the romance is even introduced. Karen is all about caring for Lars, her brother-in-law, and she tries to reach him as he withdraws into himself. The beginning of the movie is awkward, but it’s supposed to be because it’s about Lars, who is the epitome of awkward.
Lars and the Real Girl is about Lars coming out of his shell, and how the whole community rallies behind Lars to support and help him. That last point is the true love story.
Remember that a great deal of the conversation and charm in this movie is unspoken, so watch carefully… as though you’ll be able to tear your eyes away from the screen. This is a wonderful show for writers to watch as they learn to describe all the nonverbal communication that makes scenes even stronger.
Writers should also consider that this movie is a great example of relationships at work: family, friends, and community. Lars learns to see how much others care for him. He begins to see others truly, just as much as they begin to see him truly.
When the romance starts, get ready for this… with a sex doll, the quiet humor, which begins right off the bat, really finds its stride. Let me tell you right now that even though Bianca is a sex doll, this movie doesn’t actually deal with sex. Lars doesn’t even kiss her till the end. It is very modest, unless you count the reactions when people realize who Lars’ girlfriend is. There is a little bit of abstract discussion about the concept of what Bianca was made for, and that is what makes this movie PG-13.
The writers of this script were skilled artisans. This is a learning point for those working on honing their craft. These writers managed to present the conversations between Lars and Bianca so that the viewer can understand what is being said, even though half the conversation is silent.
The acting performances are superb all the way around. So many scenes don’t need a single word spoken to hold your attention. The actors really draw you in. Patricia Clarkson is a powerful actress, and putting her opposite Gosling was a stroke of genius. I don’t think Gosling can ever top this performance. It just isn’t possible. He convinces you that he is truly holding conversations with Bianca.
Oh, I almost forgot; the bear scene is a major highlight. It is spectacular. I want to avoid spoilers, so I’ll just say you’ll know it when you see it.
For further conversation: what is supposed to be a romance between Lars and Bianca is actually a good example of a progressively abusive relationship. Lars becomes more and more demanding and shouts at Bianca more and more as he loses interest in her and wants to move on to another (real) woman. The desire to move on to a real woman might be a good thing, but the idea that Lars is imitating a healthy relationship with Bianca is not. How the difficulty of Lars moving on to real relationships is handled in the end can only be considered worrisome or disturbing. I mean, what actually went on at the lake? What do you think of how Lars moving on was handled? Leave a comment below.
This caveat being said, I think this is a movie to watch. Lars and the Real Girl reminds us that love does not have to be romance to be real or deep, and that true community is about loving each other. Writers would do well to learn this lesson. Please, let’s write more books about deep, non-romantic love.
4. Ten Things I Hate About You
Aside from the tendency in the first few minutes of calling an outspoken, strong woman things like “shrew” and “b—h,” this was a show worth watching.
This is not your average teenage romance or even your average romantic comedy. This movie does not focus solely on the romance but also brings in other aspects of life, since life cannot be solely romance.
The aspect of a single father trying to raise and protect two teenage girls is presented well. He is shown as, possibly, overprotective, but the movie doesn’t degrade the parent as an idiot in the manner of many movies for younger viewers.
The relationship with the little sister is a good addition since it augments the plot and evolves as the movie progresses. The ending scene of this relationship is very meaningful, as is the ending scene with the father, making this a story touching on familial love as well as romance.
I would be amiss if I didn’t mention the moment Patrick “Sacrificed himself on the altar of dignity.” This is a very romantic scene, which I’d say probably deserves a spot in my top ten romantic scenes.
It’s not all sunshine and roses, of course, Patrick does start out by not caring for Kat, and doing something that could easily tear them apart later on, as is the prerequisite for most, if not all, stories of romance. The fact that he continues to do this, even after he is supposed to be starting to care, does put a few wrinkles in my belief that he is as kind, considerate, and gentle as he otherwise appears. This is made worse for me by the fact that he never apologizes for his actions but, instead, buys her an expensive gift to placate her. I’d certainly have a problem if I found out that a guy who claimed to like and care about me was currently accepting payment to date me. Using a bribe to save the relationship adds insult to injury.
If we can get around this concept, there are plenty of moments that are good examples of simple, practical romance, which is refreshing to see over the fairy-tale sort of romance.
One romance I would like to bring to specific attention is the romance that takes place around the little sister. In her case, she begins as a selfish, popular girl chasing after the vain jerk of a popular boy. As the story progresses, she starts to see him as the egotistical idiot he is, with her sister’s insight helping her finalize her decision against him. The little sister also starts to realize that her prince charming was there for her all along, in the form of an unpopular boy who had cared about her for some time.
I have watched enough teenage shows, and even adult movies, that end with the woman finding her value in being accepted by the popular or tough guy; often changing herself to do so. This movie’s demonstration of the woman having value in herself, and choosing the less macho and less popular guy because he is the one that also values her, as herself, is a refreshing change.
Even more romantic is the relationship that occurs between the others. This is the relationship that builds between the friends of the main characters: Michael and Mandella. Even though this romance gets very little screen time, it is profound, especially through one particular act. Even though the audience doesn’t get much indication that Michael has been able to spend much time around Mandella as of yet, he pays so much attention to who she is as a person that he’s able to find her the perfect dress for prom. She was worth his time to figure it out and get her exactly what she would love. This is an act of true romance. Moreover, this is a perfect example of “show, don’t tell.” That one act shows a vast portion of his heart.
This is a movie that I recommend for many reasons, not just romance. Writers, watch this movie.
5. Pretty Woman
If you are looking for a feel-good story or a fairy-tale in a real-life setting, this movie is for you. This is a Cinderella story, plain and simple.
The basic plot introduces a prostitute who finds herself taken into the employ of a wealthy businessman for a week, simply to act as his date during his businesses social requirements. The main trials occur during her attempts to fit into his world, first for the role and then because she allows herself to fall for him, against her better judgment and her friend’s advice.
The romance is subtle rather than over-the-top or in your face, and Julia Robert’s performance makes the character seem very natural. I would also like to point out the excellent performance by Hector Elizondo in which he portrays a man who can be respectful and considerate, knowing this woman’s occupation, while many of the upper class scorn her, at best. He also gives us a wonderful example of a man who can admire a woman’s beauty without having to leer or be crude. Would that more men could do so.
This story is not without its difficulties for the two romantically involved characters to overcome together. What tale of romance is complete without the wedge that threatens to drive the couple apart? This, like most of the movies in this list, is relatively straight forward. I would like to give a word of warning here, that there is a scene of abuse as one character tries to force the female protagonist simply because prostitution is her profession. She is saved quickly before things get very far, but some viewers might want a heads-up.
As an whole this movie gives a calm vibe, along with a fairy-tale ending. The comedic moments are light and brief, so one can be amused without having to feel as though they must laugh out loud, allowing a gentle lightheartedness to permeate the story.
I hope this list gives you entertainment and fodder for your writing, so that as you go through your writing journey, you can continue to enjoy the wonder.
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